Problem Child 3: Junior in Love
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IMDB rating: 2.50 Plot: Michael Oliver has grown up and moved on. Chapter 3 of the Problem Child trilogy features pre-teened Junior in love with a classmate that won’t even notice him, but does notice three other boys who are rivals to Junior. This means war! Junior trashes the three boys, along with Big Ben, and even gives Dr. Peabody a taste of his own medicine at the dentist office where Peabody attempted to give Junior braces and as usual, Ben is oblivious to his son’s madcap tomfooleries. |
Actors: Williams Katt,Chapman Justin,Howard Sherman,Edwards Eric,Edwards Eric,Ewing Blake McIver,Pierce Brock,Richardson Jake,Gottfried Gilbert,Warden Jack,Morrow Bruce Ed,Comedy,Family,Fantasy,
My 5 year old son's behavior is out of control…Help!?
I just don’t know what to do anymore. My son and I have definitely not had a normal life and I think this has really led to his current behavior. His father and I divorced when he was 6 months old. We were in the Air Force, stationed up in Alaska. A couple of months after we divorced, his father moved to a different base in Utah. He has since remarried and has never been a huge part of my son’s life. He calls every couple of weeks and my son goes to his house for a couple of weeks about once a year. My family is from the midwest and I didn’t make very many good friends while I was stationed there (as any female who has been in the military knows, the wives hate you and there aren’t many females that you work with, so making GOOD friends is difficult). So for the first 3 years of his life, I raised him completely by myself while also working a 60-hour workweek job. Disciplining was few and far between and I spoiled him rotten, mainly because I felt so guilty.
I got out of the Air Force, moved in with my parents, and started going to school full time in August of 2006. Things only have gotten worse. My parents hated the lack of discipline but instead of helping me or giving advice, most of the time they would berate my parenting skills or get mad at me or my son when he would do something wrong. After a year, I moved out and got my own place. I’m still going to school full-time and work part-time as a server when needed.
Justin has always been very active and very loud. So am I, and so is his father. He has also always been very emotional. Big meltdowns are something that I’ve been dealing with for years. Lately, however, the meltdowns are becoming colassal and impossible to deal with. If I ask Justin to do anything e.g. clean his room it usually becomes a huge deal with him screaming that he hates me, kicking me, hitting me, throwing toys, screaming this blood-curdling scream that has to be heard throughout the neighborhood. Twice when this has happened, I have given him a spanking. I’ve always been a firm advocate for not spanking but I just didn’t know what else to do. When I did it, I was very calm and it was just one swat, but it didn’t do anything. So now I just try to ignore him until he calms down. And when he tells me he hates me, I say that I’m sorry he feels that way and that I love him. Usually he calms down and would go a couple weeks between episodes. In the past month they have become more frequent and I’ve started to expect them every couple of days. And another new thing is that when I discipline him, he has started saying that I don’t like him anymore. This is heartbreaking to me, because this kid is my world!
Now I am busy…busy, busy, busy. I am a full-time student in my junior year and I do a lot of homework. I know I don’t play with him as much as I should. Quite frankly, I hate playing with cars, trucks, and trains and I have a hard time doing it for longer than a couple of minutes. But we do other things: coloring, watching movies, playing video games, going hiking, we go to the park several times a week, if not every day when it’s nice, and go to McDonalds playland when it’s crappy outside. He’s had swimming lessons, karate, tumbling. I try to do everything I can to make him happy and healthy. So I just don’t understand why his behavior and mood swings have gotten so severe. This has made me feel so guilty and I feel like it must be my fault and that I’m a terrible mother. I feel bad that his dad’s not around and bad that I have yet to remarry and get him a suitable "father" figure. (And that’s an entirely different post…I refuse to settle with just anyone!). Also, even though I try to do activities where he plays with kid’s his age, he has no friends that are his age. He calls my 24 yr old brother his best pal. None of my friends have children yet and I have no idea how to go about meeting kids for him. I’m hoping this will get better when he starts kindergarten in the fall?
So I took my son to the doctor and we will be starting counseling soon. I just want to know if there’s anything else I can do and if anyone else has had this problem. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
There are multiple things you can do. My son is 2.5 and has outbursts very similar to your sons. I made an appointment with his pediatrician just for myself to discuss my sons behavior. He referred my son to place called Early Steps. (I had never heard of it before). I took my son and they did a complete evaluation on him for everything. He qualified for some programs that were FREE for my husband and I. He gets to see a psychologist for his anger management persay. Also, the approach the child development therapist has given us options in dealing with these moments and it is VERY difficult and time consuming, it IS working. We are encouraging (almost over encouraging) good behavior. Only with verbal praise and hugs and kisses. When my son throws things, hits, screams at us, etc. we simply drop our heads look sad and say that it hurts my feelings and I don’t want to be around you when you are being mean and hurting me by hitting me. Then we just walk away staying in his sight and not look at him. The first day it made it worse, but we stayed consistent with it. When my son is done and realizes he is not getting a response from us acting like that he will walk up and want a hug and will clap and say I big boy pwease, and I take the oppertunity to tell him when he hits or screams that isn’t being a big boy thats being a mean boy. It was about 3 days and our hectic life that revolved around my sons attitude turned into we can go places now, he is pleasant to be around, he will do things without being told like picking up his toys and will come announce he is a big boy. No spoiling, I do not have to buy things, it was all natural things we should have been doing. My son is the first child for my husband and I the first grandbaby on both sides and the first great grandchild on both sides, so it has been hard. I realized we didnt know what we were doing or how to do it. And, it was okay, now we do. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from anyone where you live. You are not the only parent who is going through this at all. Nip it in the butt while you can and you will make your sons life easier for the both of you. I did learn that children feed off the emotional and mental state of their parents. We also had to make adjustments within ourselves too. We are in week 3 and its amazing the change in my sons behavior. Just do not give in. When everyone says it is all about being consistent, they are telling the truth. Consistency is the key. Spanking in my opinion should be used when your child does something that could cause harm to himself, like running in the street, I panicked and spanked my son when he did that and it was the first time he had done that and the first time I spanked him, however, he will grab my hand before he walks in the parking lot. My reaction scared us both that neither of us will have a repeat of that. I wish you all the luck in the world! Stay stern, if your son knows you are weak he will be able to manipulate very easily.
Jess | Apr 05, 2009
My son is 5 as well, and had similar problems with the ex etc except that my ex does have shared care, only he doesn’t discipline at all. If my son doesn’t like his dinner he’s allowed to throw the whole thing, plate smashing and all onto the floor. He swears, hits and punches. He’s starting to understand that he may be able to do it at dad’s, but its not acceptable behaviour for mum’s house. Trouble is Im scared of him, he’s knocked me out cold twice already.
I don’t really have any advice that’ll help, but my son also does the "you hate me" part and I believe its just trying to work out whats normal. They have a huge range of emotions and don’t understand just because you hate someone at the time, doesn’t mean you’ll like them again later, so if you’re upset or angry about something, they immediately think that you hate them and that scares them even more.
It sounds like you are a good mother, after all you wouldn’t care if he hated you otherwise. You’re interacting with him and the benefits will follow, just hang in there
mikanajay | Apr 05, 2009
im not a mother so cant help you much.
but from the point of view of a child, i think he just want your company more. both of my parents are working and rarely spent time with me. i used to do the same when i was a kid although not that extreme like your son.
you have a hard time. do your best!
animeotaku | Apr 05, 2009
I am a homemaker with 4 kids, age from 3 yrs to 9 years (2 boys & 2 girls) I used to work in a hotel line which required long working hours. I have similar problem as yours for my eldest son 2 years ago. This has opt me to resign from my job last year to really spend time to educate him. Thank GOD today my son behave much much better. My advice to you is to spend as much time with him and give him all the positive & encouraging word.
nc | Apr 09, 2009
